Maybe "for the masses" doesn't mean "for everyone" ...?

Sometimes I want to shout things from the rooftops, or take out a billboard along a major highway, or post to social media. But I can't. So I don't. I don't live in a world where I get to say all the things I want to say, or do all the things I want to do, because of the life I live and the profession I've chosen. So I'll use this blog as a vent for the pressure cooker that is life when you have to choose kindness and professionalism in the face of crazy and mean and ugly every time. Because, while I can't say all the things, or even get to tell my side of the story or even the whole truth, others get to put me on blast with partial stories and half truths, and then the internet trolls get to jump in and say WHATEVER THEY WANT. Alas, in this particular post I want to say something that is unpopular, frowned upon, has even gotten me labeled as "anti-" and unprofessional... PUBLIC EDUCATION IS FOR THE MASSES. THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S FOR EVERYONE. There are things that the public school system CAN'T do. There are a plethora of things they shouldn't have to try to do. In a day and age where the social / emotional / behavioral / mental / academic needs of our kids are growing, Growing, GROWING, public educators are being asked to fill roles that they were never meant to fill. Academics? Yep. Check. Got that. Teaching is what we do. It's who we are. It's the name of the game, literally. The rest of it? It's beyond the scope of our training! Entertain this analogy with me: You take your kid to the doctor, perhaps for a checkup. Your good ol' regular family practioner. Super. And all is well until it isn't. When that family practioner sees something about your kid's health that is concerning, out of the ordinary, beyond the scope of their knowledge and expertise, they REFER you to another doctor. Maybe a pediatrician, who specializes in little kids. Maybe that pediatrician refers you on again, to a doctor who is more knowledgeable and skilled. Do any of these referrals mean that the original family practitioner isn't good at what they do? By no means! It means they are trained and skilled at treating the masses. That's not the same as being trained and skilled at treating ALL the things that could ever possibly be going on with the masses. In fact, I would argue that the referrals make them better at what they do, because knowledge and expertise also recognize when something extends beyond them. And yet. When this same scenario plays out in your local public school, when educators see something about your kid's academic health that is concerning, out of the ordinary, beyond the scope of their knowledge and expertise: teachers, administrators, paras, and counselors are SHAMED because they can't figure out how to be enough or do enough. They're accused of not caring. They're told to figure it out, accommodate and modify until EVERY kid achieves success at whatever level they define it. Throw standards out the window because every child is "unique" and so are their learning styles. And when a child can't, or more often WON'T, participate in their own learning - shame on you, school. What on earth are we doing?! Why isn't it OK for professionally trained educators to say "your child might need more than what we are equipped to provide." It doesn't make us bad at what we do. Sometimes the child needs more. And in today's educational climate, too many kids need too much more than what schools are adequately able to provide. When a parent says to me that two of their child's "triggers" are CORRECTION and INSTRUCTION... I'm not sure there's much else I can provide for you here, sir. Correcting and instructing is pretty much ALL we do. In fact, those two words can be summed up as one: TEACHING. So if those are things that set your kid off, make them feel unsupported, make them feel vulnerable and challenged and stretched and uncomfortable, and YOU DON'T THINK THAT'S FAIR, you're right: public school might not be able to meet your needs. When this same family then boasts that their kid is so much more successful being homeschooled because they're "finally able to get the accommodations" that they "begged and pleaded the school district for"... uh, Bueller? No kidding! If your kid needs 1:1 attention, nope to public school. Certainly if your kid needs 1:1 attention to complete every single task and their work:break ratio is also 1:1, big NOPE to public school. And that's fine! That's what's best for your kid. It doesn't mean that public schools have failed. It means they're doing what they were created to do: educate the MASSES. I can not and will not get started on the ratio of resources spent on kids who can't or won't compared to those who can and will and are. It's not even kind of close. Two of those major resources being TIME and ENERGY. Teachers are expected to engage and entertain and make kids like all the aspects of learning. Dance puppet dance! And if kids don't? Well, what's that teacher doing wrong? The answer: NOTHING. Sometimes learning is hard, and challenges aren't fun, and work isn't enjoyable. And that doesn't make it bad for us or wrong. When a parent tells me that their kid needs a 24-hour warning before facing any consequences, "so that they don't feel like punishment"... sometimes consequences ARE punishment! Sometimes we all need to experience a little pain in the moment so that the moments happen less frequently. That's how learning works. Parents, we need to do better! We need to have realistic expectations for what professional educators can and should do, and then where we STEP IN and fill in the gaps! When I was in 3rd grade I had to memorize my multiplication facts. Gasp! The horror! Memorization?! Wasn't that boring? and hard? and time consuming? YEP! And guess what else... my teacher just taught them to us and then expected us to work on them AT HOME, ON OUR OWN! And we were expected to do it. So you know what happened at my house? By George, we worked on them. My parents quizzed me and made me use flashcards and they joined as a team WITH MY TEACHER in their expectations for my learning. They didn't accuse my teacher of not making the content interesting enough, or expect my teacher to find just the right way to make me want to learn times tables. My teacher did her job, and then it was time for me to do mine. Parents don't get to ask for POWER when they want to assume zero of the ACCOUNTABILITY. The pendulum has swung WAY TOO FAR into safety land: where we don't want our kids to experience hard things or have to struggle, or heaven-forbid, have to do something they don't like! C'mon you guys. I have to believe we want better for our kids than fast, easy, fun, and comfortable. Travel back in time and say that to the "Greatest Generation"... I hope they punch you in the face. School Officials, we have to do better! We have to learn how to REFER families on to a more specialized education. I'm sorry you've been made to feel like saying you're not able to do something means that you're not enough. You can't be fully enough for every single one. We have to hand some of the responsibility back to families. Stop bringing the therapist and the doctor and the dentist and the food pantry into our schools. Schools are for teaching and learning. By taking on all of these responsibilities, in addition to feeding kids two meals a day and having a nurse to administer meds and dress wounds, we have taken all of the work away from parents. No wonder families are disengaged with their children's learning. We've let them be! Hand it back. Stick to what we're good at: teaching. And I know what you'll argue: what about the parents who can't or won't? They'll figure it out. Or they won't. That's how the world works. There's a whole other post, or several, on the needs of our kids and why are they increasing at such alarming rates and where should these resources be coming from? I'm sure you'll be on the edge of your seat for my thoughts on that one. In the meantime, things I want to post online but won't: 1. When you pull your kid to homeschool and want it to hurt the public school's feelings... 2. If you're going to start the story, tell the WHOLE thing 3. Me being the "bad guy" doesn't make me bad. It means I care. You should try it.

The Year That Could Not Be Reviewed

Twenty Twenty. It is what it is.
The circumstances of my life in 2020 were not uniquely outrageous, but I must warn this post is a long one because I want to remember the uniqueness of this year for all of us. One like none of us have seen before, and goodness gracious I hope not to see the likes of again.
I struggle to remember a NYE where so many people were so full of hopeful anticipation as the one leaving 2019 behind and ushering in 2020. So many "this is our year"s and such optimism for this Roaring 20s 2.0
Wow. She fooled us. And we fell for her shiny facade Hook Line & S(t)inker.
Our 2020 started with family heartbreak when Cole's uncle Eric suddenly and tragically passed in January. This led to 2 trips to Colorado in 2 weeks time, and his memorial service on Valentine's Day. It was a really beautiful service and was fun to hear the memories that everyone had of him.
I continued working away on my Masters' Degree, working hard to finish in May; while still teaching those 7th graders a thing or two. Cole kept plugging away in the cold bleak warehouse that is Nolan Belle Motors, where for maybe the first time since being in business for ourselves Cole put all of our eggs in the Tax Return Basket, stocking our inventory in a big, expectant way. We had no idea that Tax Return season wouldn't happen.
Ministry was in full swing. Redeemer Church has grown beyond our wildest dreams and getting to do life & ministry on the daily with such great people is a dream come true. But people are messy and they tend to carry that mess around with them. February 2020 looked like various forms of ministry & counseling every night of the week. I found myself in my house a lot but never really "home." In fact, we shipped our kids over to M&M's house one night a week so that they could have a "normal" family night each Monday (albeit not with their actual parents). Our pace of life was fast & furious & beginning to feel out of control. I didn't know how I could sustain it, and I sat down with Cole & told him I had to unload some things. I told him I just wished I could hit PAUSE, where I wouldn't have to tell anyone no to needing our time, they'd just stop asking for it.
The cold winter weather and the stress and the sadness of it all prompted Cole & I to book a beach vacation for the week of Spring Break, which was just 5 short weeks away. Thus marking the earliest that these Hodsons have ever planned and booked a vacay in the history of ever. 5 weeks was bearable.
Teaching middle schoolers brings a variety of "news" to your plate, and throughout January & February my 7th graders had been educating me on this "coronavirus" that was sweeping through Asia (or as they preferred to call it: the Kung-Flu... no one ever accused middles of being any sort of politically correct).
During the 2nd week of March, March 11th to be exact, I worked a late evening at Parent-Teacher Conferences and came home to find Cole watching NBA basketball. We never watch the NBA. We don't care that much about basketball and I think the NBA is overrated. Fight me about it.
As I sat down with him I realized he wasn't actually watching basketball, but watching 2 teams and an arena full of fans waiting for the officials to announce whether they would even get to play. I heard the announcers talking about players having tested positive for this Coronavirus, or what they'd named COVID-19. That name sounded so wierd to me, cold, unfamiliar. Little did I know...
Within the next few hours not only had they cancelled that particular game, but the NBA had cancelled the remainder of their 2020 season, major league baseball had cancelled the rest of their spring training and postponed their season openers, and the PGA had postponed their tournaments for the forseeable future, including the Masters. What in the world was going on?! Cole & I looked at each other and I asked, "Should we be paying more attention to this thing?" To which he replied, "I think so. This is big."
I had students for half a day of school on that Thursday, March 12 and then they were out for a long weekend. By Thursday night we had a short staff meeting to discuss the possibility of a school shut down in response to this Coronavirus, and were told to begin preparing online lessons that could sustain at least a couple of weeks on "remote learning." What is remote learning?! How is that even possible? How was I supposed to do what I do every day in my classroom through a computer screen? "I can do it for a couple of weeks I guess."
Over the long weekend announcements of events being cancelled and entire European countries being shut down were all over the news. Cities began imposing curfews and the news talked exclusively about the need for people to stay home as much as possible, limit your exposure to others, and help slow the spread of this virus. It all seemed very surreal and sci-fi movie worthy.
By Monday our school district had announced that we would in fact shut down for 2 weeks beginning Tuesday, March 17. St Patrick's Day. Never would I have imagined that day would be my last day in my classroom with that Class of 2025. But then again, I had no idea what we were in store for. That week the city, county & state began issueing ordinances limiting public gatherings to no more than 10 people. That meant church could not continue as normal either. So Thursday, March 19 we met at the 4th Street Theater with our worship team to record for Sunday's service. Our collegiate Connect Group came as the congregation, spreading out over the theater for Cole to have someone to preach to. We recorded on Thursday because that weekend was to be our departure for that beach vacation. We got home that night to the news that the United States had issued a Level 4 travel advisory, warning Americans to cease all international travel and for those already outside the US to return home immediately. We went to bed that night having made the sad decision to postpone our vacay. We were all in tears. #firstworldproblems
The original 2 week school closure became 2 more, and then 2 more until at the beginning of May the Governor announced that all Missouri schools would be closed for the remainder of the year. I sat in my living room and cried literal tears. Tears of heartbreak and sadness and the hard reality that this weird remote-living wasn't going away for awhile. Three quarters of the year complete and we were being sent home to finish.

The 2nd half of March, April and May became a string of days that all ran together seemingly never ending. That pause button that I was looking for in February had arrived in my lap. Nothing and no one needed my time or attention, aside from my own kids and my students who I still mostly "saw" online every day. We all got a crash course in Zoom and Google Meet, video conferencing companies that would end up being the Heroes of 2020. Literally saving the day. There was no going to work, no sports or practices to be at, soccer season cancelled, no church events or even in-person church. We found favor with a local school gym that was willing to let us use their space to record church each week. A skeleton worship team + Cole would meet there each Friday night to record the service, then I'd spend Saturday editing and uploading so that it was ready to be "live" for our church family on Sunday morning. Week after week this became the only scheduled event of my life.
I typically live my life consumed by what time it is, what time the next thing is, and how late I am to it. For 8 weeks time meant nearly nothing to me. We had no schedule. I started cooking actual meals using actual ingredients. I made my own spaghetti sauce. I don't want to toot my own horn, but... it doesn't toot itself. We painted and played and read books and video chatted with our classmates and friends. Cole kept going to work because it's pretty easy to "social distance" with 2 people in 10,000 square feet of space. Because Cole was already out & about, we designated him as our shopper and errand runner too. The kids & I did not leave our house, except for the Friday night recordings, for weeks. And no one was asking me to do otherwise.
This is going to make some of you angry, but I'm willing to risk it: IT WAS GLORIOUS. Selfishly I got to spend all of my time at home with my people, which I know is not normal life, but was such a welcome reprieve for me.

*I need to insert a disclaimer here that I now know that these 8 weeks of isolation and nothingness were devastating to so many. Unemployment & depression were at higher levels than I'd ever seen. It truly wrecked lives and families, and for many people in many parts of the country 8 weeks was just the beginning. As of this NYE writing, we have friends in many cities & states who are still living this "stay at home" life, working & schooling & surviving every day within their own 4 walls.

For our lives here in mid-Missouri May brought some opening back up. We were able to resume church gatherings the week of May 17. We couldn't meet at our home in the 4th Street Theater as indoor public spaces had (and some still have) limitations on how many people can be there. We met for a few weeks at a park in Higbee, scattered about in lawn chairs & on blankets. That first Sunday back together brought tears to my eyes, it felt like being wrapped in a warm hug. After that we met in the backyard of the YMCA for a few weeks until we could develop a re-entry plan for meeting at the theater. By late June we had returned to our home for church, just beginning to take stock of the trauma that 8 weeks of isolation and distance had wreaked on our church family.

We were able to get away as a family to Yellowstone National Park for a couple of weeks in July. I'm convinced that it is one of the most beautiful places on Earth where God is simply showing off His beauty & creativity. Mid summer brought a shortened little league softball season for Zailey, where I got to coach her little team. It was only 10 games, but we'd take anything we could get. The Aquatic Center was closed for the summer, as were municipal pools across the state / country. Backyard pools flew off the shelves and became impossible to find. Stores were sold OUT of pools and bikes and kayaks... anything & everything that would allow people to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.
Also during the summer I applied for, interviewed for, and got a new job! Not only was March 17 2020 the last day in my classroom with those kids, it turns out that it was my very last day in a classroom at all. Beginning July 1, 2020 I finally put that Masters degree to use & became the Assistant Principal of Moberly Middle School. I was nervous that I would terribly miss being in the classroom but I don't at all... I truly love this new gig that I have!
August brought the start of a very new school year. I never imagined a time when it would be in question whether or not our kids would be allowed to go to school, but here we were. Starting the year with in-person learning was the goal, yet all across the country schools started completely online or with a hybrid of remote / in-seat. I'm so thankful that our district fought hard for our kids to return to school 100% in-seat, with a virtual option for those with Covid health concerns. Teachers & students wear masks all day every day. Passing times are staggered so that the number of kids in the hallways is limited. Teachers clean & sanitize their classrooms at the end of each hour. This virus has all but taken over our school year. I can say without a doubt that I have spent more time in my first semester as an administrator dealing with health department rules and CDC guidelines and {dreadful} contact tracing than I ever even knew existed before.
BUT we're in school! Our kids got to have a fall soccer season, Javik played 8th grade football, and we made it through 1st semester with only one 2-week "remote learning closure" just prior to Thanksgiving. Words like "social distancing" and "quarantine" have become part of our vernacular.
2020 is a year that has taken a lot. Globally it will take years to recover. And that's after this pandemic is over.
But 2020 is also a year that has given a lot. I have learned things about myself, about my husband and my kids. I have leaned hard into my faith and seen God move in my life and in the lives of others. We have had so much time together as a family right smack in the middle of these years where our "normal" is so busy.
Am I ready for things to feel normal again? Yes. Am I trying to remember that not all parts of normal are worth returning to? Also yes.
So I head into this new year differently than I have in the past. There's a different kind of hopeful anticipation, one that is more hopeful that we'll apply those lessons of the previous year and less hopeful that my circumstances will set me up for success. 2020 has given us a myriad of excuses for everything we want to do or don't... the ultimate skapegoat for us. Let's let 2021 lead us to a place where we're able to set our circumstances aside and examine our hearts. Who are we? Who am I?... as a wife, as a mom, as a friend, a daughter, an employee, a church member. I want to be kind & giving, and selfless, and loving, and Christlike.
Time waits for no man: Javik goes to high school this year. Zailey turns double digits. These kids have not hit pause in their growing up, and one day they're going to want to leave this house & live their own lives. This year has taught me to be more intentional in my time with them. Enjoy both the chaos & the mundane. Cole & I will celebrate 19 years of marriage, a dance that we continue to practice and tweak and learn.
Our church will turn 3 in May. A family that has seen serious trauma in 2020, emerging stronger and more faith-filled than before.
Someday we will look back on this year and hindsight will truly be 20/20. Let's all escape this year as better people.
CH out.

The Council of Men

When Javik was born I knew he was special.  Not just because he was mine, I mean obviously that too, but just because I knew.  He was an old soul from the start. He was bright eyed at birth, taking it all in.  Looking and listening and learning. And he's been that way ever since.   

   Since Javik was born, Cole & I have dreamed about the man that we wanted him to become.  We've prayed every day of his life that he would be the "greatest man of God of his entire generation."  And we still do.  Ultimately this child belongs to the Lord.  We have dedicated him back to God, that his life would be one that glorifies our Father in Heaven.

   We know that, as his parents, we have a great responsibility to raise him up in the ways of the Lord, to raise him up in the way he should go, so that when he is older he will not depart from it.

   But we also know that we cannot do that alone.  I believe it truly takes a village to raise a child.  And in the last 13 years of raising this boy the Lord has been tremendously generous to us in the village that He has surrounded us with. 

   

   I believe that so many cultures around the world do this so well.  They live in literal villages.  They are born and raised among multiple generations, and when it's time for them to enter adulthood they know what that entails.  In American culture, we're missing this.  So many parents have singularly taken the load of raising their humans, and we end up with 25 year olds who haven't yet decided what they want to do when they "grow up."  Um... I think you're there.

So during our toddler raising years we began to dream of a "rite of passage" for our boy.  I read somewhere about a man who did this for his son, spent some time with him when he turned 13 and introduced him to manhood. I wanted this for Javik. As he entered his teen years, hurtling toward manhood, he would know that he's loved and treasured, and he would hear from important men in his life what it means to be a courageous man of God. 

THIRTEEN seemed a lifetime away.

And then... *blink*... here we are.  Javik turned 13 on June 27, 2020. Amidst a global pandemic and following three months of shut-down & staying at home, we ushered in our teen years!  And it was time to see this rite of passage dream become a reality:   

The Council of Men

   This group is Javik's Council of Men.  During his life there have been so many, too many to count, who have poured into him.  Loved him.  Instructed & corrected him.  Pointed him toward Jesus.  Church family, blood family, school teachers, coaches... the list is overwhelming.  

But we didn't want this council to last for days....

   So we chose 6.  Six men who love Jesus and love Javik.  Six men who have watched him grow up, some for all 13 years and some for just the last couple, who would walk with him and talk with him, and who will continue to be there for him as he becomes a man. 

   We invited them to be part of this council.  To meet at our park and walk a part of the path with Javik, sharing with him some words of wisdom, meaningful scripture, some "what not to do's" or just lessons they wish someone would have shared with them when they were 13.  We trusted that the Lord would lead them to share exactly what Javik needed to hear.  

Cole invited Javik to go for a walk. He shared with him how turning 13 is the beginning of a "walk" through your teen years, and the walk ends at manhood. Along the path there will be many choices, many obstacles, and many steps to take.  But that Javik won't be alone.  Not only will his dad (& mom) be there for him, but that the Lord has put others in his life to help guide him along the way.  

   First along that path, Grandpa.  The 2nd man who entered Javik's life 13 years ago, the 2nd man who ever held him.  Who assured me that he was more qualified to share with Javik what not to do than anything else. I doubt that. 💙   My dad is loyal and honest, hard-working and funny as all get out. The only thing better than me having this man for a dad is that my kids get to have him as their Grandpa. 

   Next Javik walked with Ben.  Ben has been part of Javik's life for less time than any of these other men, yet in such a profoundly important way!  Ben is Javik's small-group leader.  Every Wednesday night Ben gives up his evening to hang out with a bunch of middle school boys, he shares with them truths from God's Word and he listens to their hearts (and probably other things...). 

   After that, Javik walked with Aaron.  Aaron has been Cole's best friend since Javik was 2 years old. He's seen Jav grow up.  Aaron is fiercely loyal, he loves the Lord and is the most disciplined man I know. And whether it's something he's learned from his bible study, some carpentry skill, or a piece of financial advice, he's at-the-ready with a lesson to teach. 

   Next, a walk with Zandy. Zandy has known Javik since he was a little boy, but in the fall of 2017, Zandy became Javik's 2nd dad. When their family moved to Moberly and moved in with us for a while, Zandy & Jenn literally parented Javik with us. Not only that, but Zandy is also Javik's youth minister. Weekly he spends time investing in Javik & other teenagers, teaching them the Word and how to live for Jesus. 

   Then Javik walked with Mike. I could say 1,000,000 words about the influence of Mike Power in Javik's life, and none of them would be adequate. On the surface, he was Javik's 5th grade teacher, he's one of Cole's best friends, he works closely with us in ministry... But Mike is so much more than those things.  He's not only Cole's friend, but he's truly one of Javik's best friends.  He is a man that exudes faithfulness and loyalty, he loves the Lord, and I can say without one ounce of doubt that he loves Javik like his very own. 

   And then Javik walked with his dad. 💗

When I met Cole at age 15 I was smitten with his handsome good looks and witty sense of humor & charm... and I didn't even know yet what a gift from the Lord it would be to have him as the father of my children. Cole lives life fully.  He does every single thing at 1000% including parenting.  He always brings the fun and the funny, and still he never shies away from the hard conversation, the life lesson, the biblical truth.  

   I'm sure that Javik is just beginning to know what a treasure he's been given in having Cole as his dad. 

   These men are such a gift to us! I am so honored that they gave their afternoon, they stood and waited in the summer heat, and they shared their hearts with my boy.  Only Javik knows what each of these men shared with him.  My prayer is that their words would build a foundation for him of what it means to be a man who loves the Lord and leads well.  

   THIRTEEN.  Five more years under our roof.  The beginning of his journey to being a man.  I can think of no greater council of men to walk along side him, showing him the way. 

   Lord, we give you this child. We are honored to be his parents, raising him up in your truth and your love.  Use his life to bring glory to Your name.  Use him to do a mighty work for Your Kingdom.  Let him know, in a way that only Javik could understand, just how much he is loved.  Grow in him a desire to know You more and follow You more closely. And may Javik Nolan Hodson be the greatest man of God of his entire generation. 

20 Twenty

How in the world is it 2020?!
That used to seem so futuristic... so George Jetson.  Now here we are.

It doesn't seem as George Jetson-y now.
But it does seem to be the start of a brand new decade that feels full of hope.

What feels hopeful about 2020?  Something about the cliche perfect vision clarity stereotype of it, I think. It feels more like a fresh start than other new years.

When I think back over the last year I can't help but smile.  The Lord has given us such a beautiful life, has been so faithful to entrust us with so much.  Sometimes the weight of it all is overwhelming, but that weight is quickly overshadowed by His overwhelming goodness!

In the last year our business has grown.  While often times it feels like it's too much, especially for Cole, who does the job of a dozen men on his own. We have tremendous men who work for us, and couldn't ask for more loyal and trustworthy employees.

I have gone back to school to complete my Master's Degree.  It's been interesting to be a full-time student again, this time as a grown up.  When I was in college getting my undergrad degree I remember "grown ups" in my classes who seemed so "all-business" about the learning.  I thought they seemed stuffy.  Now I get it.  They have lives going on, and they are all-business about the learning.  Because it matters and it's important.  And expensive!  I wish I could apologize to them that they had to sit in a classroom with 19 year old Jeana.  I'm thankful that I get to do my work online!
I'll be finished with my degree in May and I plan on pursuing a job in admin when the time comes. I don't know when that time will come, but the Lord will let me know.  Until then, I'm happy at home in the 7th grade, among my 90 or so little 7th grade weirdos.

Speaking of 7th grade weirdos... Javik Nolan is one!  7th grade, 12 years old, and SO pre-teen it's painful sometimes.  He's walking that hard line of wanting to be a part of things, but wanting to do right and live a life of faithfulness too.  I get it.  I remember that line.  And I dare say he's walking it far better than I ever did.
He played football this fall, and I'm so proud of the way he dove right into learning something brand new.  It was hard for him, being the one who didn't know.  That's not a role he plays very often.  ;) But he did it!  It was hard for this momma too, watching him struggle and be disappointed and stand on the sideline and have to deal with not-so-friendly teammates.  But I know those things are good for him, and I certainly don't want to "rescue" him from every hard thing he ever faces.  But I hope that I'm a safety net for him to fall into when he needs to.
He's also still playing soccer and really loves it. He's plays in a rec league and also on a competitive team, and has made great friends in his teammates.
He attends our church youth group and helps out in Kids' church each week.  He's amazing with little kids and serves with such faithfulness in our ministry.

And speaking of littles... our Zailey Belle isn't so little anymore.  She just turned 8 going on 18 and is rocking the 2nd grade.  Her last year of "elementary" before moving on to another building next year.  She continues to be a kind & caring kid, and is the mother-hen among her classmates & friends.
She's a self-declared VSCO girl, which I had to look up.  Turns out it's a Valley Girl 30 years later.  I can relate.
Even at such a young age, she's quite enamored by pop culture and I'm praying even now that Jesus would capture her little heart before this world does!
She tried basketball this winter and liked it ok, but "not as much as soccer."  And that's OK.  I've settled tight into my role as a soccer mom.

We're looking forward to this year with excited anticipation! 

What Story Are You Telling?

It's HOT.  But it's summertime, so I actually expect it to be that way.  And you will never hear me complain about the heat because 1) I don't have to actually do anything in the heat except float in my pool, and 2) I wait all year for it to get hot because I. despise. winter!

So today, Z & I were running some errands for Cole, who was at work at our very hot, no AC business.
Zailey said, "Daddy is so lucky!  He gets to have one of those giant Gatorades every single day!"
I said, "Well yes... but Daddy also has to work all day in the super hot warehouse."
"Yes, mom, I know that.  But that's not the story we're telling right now."

Whoa.
At first, I was a little taken back by what I perceived as sass.
But then I thought about how deep her little words really were.

You see, I didn't want her precious, naive, 6-year-old perspective to miss the big picture that her daddy works very hard for her, in summertime HOT and wintertime COLD... I didn't want her to selfishly focus on others' "haves" and her "have-nots."

But as I thought about it I realized that her perspective was actually so much more broad than mine.  "That's not the story we're telling right now."
In her own little way she was reminding me that life is what you make it.  You see what you choose to focus on.

There are good parts and bad parts of every single day.  Now I know that there are actual tragedies and illnesses and terrible circumstances that sometimes (hopefully temporarily) cloud our vision.  I'm not talking about those. Those are different.  I'm talking about the ins & outs of every day. 
The alarm clock goes off - I'm awake and able to get up again today! vs Ugh, I have to get up again.
Time to make dinner - I have food to feed my family! vs Why do these people want to eat all the time?
Cole has Gatorades in the fridge - He gets a Gatorade every day! vs He works in an un-AC shop all day.
You get the idea...
Some would call it "looking at the bright side."  Others might call it "seeing God's blessings" in everyday life.  Both are good ways to think about it.  I'm going to start calling it "the story I'm telling."  If you choose to see the negative, you'll tell the negative story.  But if you choose to see positive, you'll tell that story instead.
And we're all telling a story... to our spouses & kids, to our co-workers, our neighbors, family & friends, the lady at the bank drive-up or the kid working the drive-thru window.  They're all hearing our story. 
So, what story are you telling?

Building Walls

This past Sunday Cole preached about what it looks like to take the first step toward doing what we're called to do.  As a part of his sermon, he challenged us to read through the account of Nehemiah, and his work in rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem.  As I was reading through Nehemiah this morning, the Lord brought a few things to my attention.  And I don't want to forget them.
Nehemiah was a cupbearer for the king.  He wasn't a foreman or a construction guru...he didn't have years of experience leading large groups of people... he wasn't in a position of prestige and power.  He was a cupbearer.  He was the first to taste the wine for the king to see if it had been poisoned.  Yet He was willing to go to his homeland and rebuild the wall.
When he got to Jerusalem, he began recruiting others to join him in the work.  The ones who got to work with him were priests (v3), goldsmiths and perfumemakers (v8).  They weren't professionally trained for the work that the Lord called them to do.  But they were faithful.  They didn't have to know how to build the whole wall.  They just worked on their own section.  Faithfully.
Scripture also says that many of the families worked on the gates "opposite his house," "in front of their house," and "beside his house."  They worked as fathers and sons, families,  or "with the help of his daughters."  They were in their own neighborhoods, working as families!  They didn't travel to the other side of the city to work.  They didn't have to find a team of people who knew what they were doing.  They worked near their own homes and with their own people. 
I think this speaks volumes about the work that God calls us to do in our own lives.  The ministry we're called to may or may not have anything to do with what we think we're trained to do.  It might just be work that needs to be done.  It's also probably closer to home than we think. 
There are some people who are called to do great big things, travelling to far away lands telling the masses about the Good News of the gospel.  But for most of us, our ministry is at home.  In our own cities, in our own neighborhoods, working alongside our own families.  Our work is probably not glamorous, and we probably aren't going to get rich & famous for it. 
Name a builder of the Wall of Jerusalem.  Go ahead... I'll wait. 
You can't do it.
They didn't get rich or famous.  Except that their names & stories are recorded in scripture, and they're so famous in HIS story.
And that's what it's actually all about.  Making His name great and making His work famous.

You know what else I noticed?  Their work wasn't easy-peasy.  They had opposition and enemies and naysayers.  People questioned whether or not they were capable.  Or if they were working for their own impure motives.  But they knew the truth, that their work was of the Lord.  And so they were faithful. 
But even in knowing that the Lord was with them and that He would give them success, they still carried weapons while they worked and they appointed some of the workers to take turns being guards.  They weren't careless or naive about the dangers that their enemies presented.  And we shouldn't be either.  Even when we are doing the work that the Lord has called us to do, and we know that full-well, we still should be vigilant and careful to protect that work.  Be armed, maybe physically... definitely spiritually.  And when danger presents itself, keep working!  "Those who carried materials did their work with one hand and held a weapon in the other, and each of the builders wore his sword at his side as he worked."  (4:17)
We are not promised easy conditions or wide open doors into the promised land!  In fact, I believe that if the work is worth it (and any work of the Lord always is), there will be opposition.  There will be those who are threatened by it, and those who say we can't or shouldn't keep going.  #balderdash! 

"Don't be afraid of them!  Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes." (v14)  And so the wall was completed in 52 days. 

Great things can be done when 1) we are faithful to do the work that the Lord is calling us to do; 2) we rally together with those around us, our families & our neighbors, and do our part; and 3) we don't worry ourselves with the business of the whole wall, but we faithfully work on our part, doing what we can do. 

Lord, help me be faithful to do my part in Moberly, Missouri.  Show me how to gather my family, my children, around me to put our hands & feet to work for You.  Show us which part of the "wall" is ours to build, and which parts are for others to be concerned with.  Most of all, Lord, let us remember You, You who are great and awesome and faithful to do what You say You will do!

Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.  Zech 4:10

2017... The Comfort Zone

Apparently this blog has become an annual Year-End-Review.  I honestly mean to post more than once a year, it just doesn't happen.  Things are busy.
Judgement. Eyes. Off Me.
Two Thousand Seventeen.  I'm having a hard time processing all the things that means:
1. Cole & I have been together for TWENTY years.  I feel like I'm barely 20 years old...
2. My firstborn baby is a decade old.  What?
3. I graduated high school 17 years ago.  I seem to recall only being slightly older than that when I graduated, so...
4. My baby child started Kindergarten.  Rude.
5. After 3 years, Moberly has become home. We are Spartans... and we love it!

This year finally felt settled.  Nothing particularly new or exciting, different or challenging, and you all know how I love that.

•  I finished my first year teaching at MMS and started my second.  I found another workplace that feels like home and have coworkers that feel like family.  And I've confirmed that kids are kids, and middle schoolers are crazy, no matter where you live.
• We wrapped up our (almost) third year as small business owners.  Cole figured out how to run the shop without me;  and he does the business of a small army with just 2 guys.  He's amazing like that!  And for 5 months he took on the challenge of not only running a business, but also operating a Daddy Daycare... and made it look easy peasy. 
• Javik started his last year of school before middle school!  He's loving 5th grade.  He's a genius of course, doing math at an almost high school level and reading college-level texts.  He amazes me with his ability to learn and remember everything... selectively of course.  Somehow remembering to put his laundry in the hamper that is 3 feet from his room is still a challenge some days. 😉
• Zailey Belle started Kindergarten!  The first half of her year was spent at "Nolan Belle Motors Pre-School" with Cole.  She learned so much she probably could have skipped Kindergarten!  But alas... she marched right into that school like she knew what she was doing.  In her first semester she has gotten all great marks, great behavior reports, and was given the Character Award for kindness by her teacher & principal. #proudmomalert  AND, she's a reader!  #gamechanger

So basically, just life as usual.  Both kids played soccer and I think Javik finally found a sport that he loves!  He's become a great Defender and is even thinking of trying to get on the local travelling team.  Zailey has great plans for this coming year including gymnastics, softball, soccer, and piano.  She clearly doesn't understand how busy works.

Oh! And in September we doubled the size of our household when our great friends moved to Moberly to jump into church planting with us, and they moved in to our house while they're looking for the perfect home in the Magic City!  If you've read any of my other posts (I'm looking at you, Mom...) you'll remember that I've been praying for a "tribe".  Low and behold, God moved a tribe member right into my house for me.  #Heanswersmyprayersveryspecifically
People keep asking me how it's going... I think they assume it must be chaos.  I'm sure there are a lot of people that I could NOT live with, and God knows that!  Praise Jesus that the Vandalls are not those people!  We're all pretty laid back and it just works!  In fact, I feel like we got the better deal out of it!  It's basically getting to hang out with your good friends 24/7, plus my kids got 2 extra parents & a big brother and sister!  We could not be more excited about doing life with them, and while we'll be excited for them when they find a house nearby 😉😉, we'll actually be really sad when they move out.

So 2018...

The biggest thing on the horizon for us is the launch of Redeemer Church Moberly!  We've prayed for a long time about how this new church plant would look.  It has been very clear for the past few years that the Lord was telling us to wait.  Waiting for what, we weren't sure.  But we have known that this church is HIS church, and if any success will be to HIS glory, then the timing would have to be HIS as well.  

Cole's heart all along has been to do ministry for free.  Having been on staff at a church since he was 17, the last 3 years have shown us the freedom that comes with doing ministry just because you want to serve the Lord, and not because you're dependent on a church's paycheck.  So... to do ministry for free means that you have to also work somewhere else.  Because life takes money.  We certainly cannot be those "off the grid" type people.  I don't even like camping.

So clearly Nolan Belle Motors has to keep paying the bills if this is going to work.  And as I mentioned earlier, Cole's pretty much maxed out there.  So our prayers have been that God would send us people... ministers of the gospel... other Jesus-lovers who would come alongside us and join us in this work.  And guess what?  He totally did!  Without us (or them) even realizing it, He was preparing the hearts of His followers to begin this new thing in Moberly.  He has used this Core Team to breathe life into this church and we are so humbled / excited / eager / scared / ready!  We are anxious to see this church full of people who love Jesus, and are believing God that He can and will use Redeemer Church to redeem this sweet city.

As for the rest of our time, we're certainly not going to be bored.  We'll be working and playing, the kids' teams and clubs, a family vacay to NYC... maybe even a trip to the beach if I can convince the Mister.

This year I want to be a vessel.  I want to work on some renovation to my temple, if you know what I mean.  I want to devote my heart to His word and be more faithful to spend time in it at the beginning of each day.  I want to be present each day with my sweet family.  I want to look at my phone less and read more.  I want to learn something new and do something I've never done before.  I want to make new friends and keep in touch with old ones.

I want a lot of things.  I know it's presumptuous that I would get any of them accomplished, but new years always give me a sense of hope!  So here's to this new year!  I have great expectations for what 2018 will bring! 

CH out.